My advice to anyone talking to me, or for that matter anyone else, whether they are non-autistic or otherwise is as follows. Say what you mean and mean what you say – it shows far more respect and offers more opportunity for empathetic connection. Keep it simple – don’t use unnecessary words or phrases. Be factual where possible. Words are wonderful, they each contain a host of meanings, so choose them with care. Provide context only if it seems genuinely necessary (or is asked for); otherwise I will become lost in the conversation and not be sure what the important parts are. Give room to allow the other person time to respond – and allow yourself time to formulate what you want to say. Communication between individuals is fraught with misunderstandings at the best of times. Conversation shouldn’t be rushed. It should be meaningful. Don’t speak to people. Talk with them. Sometimes, the best moment in a conversation is after the words have stopped. I have had some of my most cherished times with individuals where we have just sat and enjoyed the calm of each other’s company after talking about, for example, what we liked about a painting. That connection, that warmth, is a thousand times more meaningful in its silence, than the hollow noise of “it was nice to see you”.
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