Autism and the Social Rulebook

The idea that eye contact is attached to how other people will read our emotions is worrying, because we express emotion in different ways than non-autistic people, which often results in us being seen as monotonous (or even apathetic). Our facial expressions may not necessarily mean the same thing as non-autistic people’s, or perhaps the way we express emotion may appear (to non-autistic people) more muted. We also tend to be more direct and honest, and generally agree that if we are feeling a certain way then we will simply say so. The concept of eye contact as a means of expressing emotion therefore seems sort of nonsensical to us, not only because we tend to express our emotions more verbally, but also because it relies so much on interpretation. It would be helpful for non-autistic people to be aware of our emotional and communication differences, to understand that for autistic people eye contact is not an indicator of politeness or interest, and that if we feel confident you aren’t trying to read our emotions or inject meaning where there is none on our part, we will likely be more able to make eye contact with you.

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